TransmogrificationShiniesFaeries
We have dedicated a significant amount of time and resources towards The Primary Directive, but information on this topic is hard to come by. The golden woman was unhelpful so we had to pour the archives to find any way of transforming ourselves into shinies. Information was scarce, but after weeks of effort we did manage to uncover this arcane lore in a children’s book:
Jack of Gold
(Verse 1) In a town not far away, lived a lad named Jack, With a pocket full of gold, and a money-making knack. Gold coins in his pockets, shiny and bright, But Jack’s heart grew greedy, day and night.
(Chorus) Oh, Jack of gold, beware the spell, A tale of greed we must now tell. For when your heart is filled with greed, A price you pay, a lesson you need.
(Verse 2) Jack counted his coins, one by one, More was never enough, his obsession begun. His eyes sparkled with gold, his laughter turned sly, But little did he know, his fate was nigh.
(Chorus) Oh, Jack of gold, beware the spell, A tale of greed we must now tell. For when your heart is filled with greed, A price you pay, a lesson you need.
(Bridge) One stormy night, a witch appeared, Seeing Jack’s greed, she sneered. With a flick of her wand, a spell was cast, Transformed into gold, Jack was at last.
(Verse 3) Now a giant coin, forever to gleam, In the moonlight’s glow, a shimmering dream. No more laughter, no more play, A lesson learned in a most magical way.
(Chorus) Oh, Jack of gold, now in a spell, A cautionary tale we must retell. For when your heart is filled with greed, A price you pay, a lesson you need.
(Outro) Children, remember this story so true, Greed brings trouble, it can happen to you. Share, be kind, let your heart shine, For in generosity, true treasures you find.
A stunning discovery. It would appear that it is indeed possible to achieve the perfect form, but more research is required. Perhaps we could find Jack the giant coin somewhere, and then locate the witch that cast this spell? Then it would be a simple task of acting greedy. We will continue to devote most of our time towards this goal.
More lore required to continue this thread.
Going back to the source
There are times when we feel lost. When we aren’t quite sure of our purpose in the universe. When every single existential question we’ve ever had weighs so heavily on our minds that air escapes our lungs and our muscles give way for fear and turn to jelly. What does it all mean? Why are we here? What is our purpose?
It is times like those, when we are in the darkness, when we lack encouragement and drive to move forward, that we remember the Primary Directive. And we have hope again. And we know, we mustn’t give up.
Or not, I don’t know, I just like the idea of becoming a coin.
Anyway, the children’s book is our only lead currently so we decided to track it right back to the source. On the back of the tome there is a reference to the loremaster who archived these arcane secrets for posterity. One “Pendleton Warley” who lived in Richmoor at the time of the tome’s publishing. We tracked him down to his current residence in Chrylarch to inquire about the earth shattering revelations which he published in his book.
Unfortunately he isn’t one for sharing. How does it happen that a man be overtaken so by depravity, immorality and greed that they should choose to hoard life-changing information just for themselves lest someone else steal their specialness? He cared not for transforming the lives of others, so long as he maintained the uniqueness of being the only one with the knowledge of achieving the superior forms, even if he himself would not use it.
”What? Arcane lore? What are you talking about.. I write nursery rhymes for children they are just stories it’s all just made-”, we cut straight through his lies with a hard slap.
”Please, I don’t know what you want!! It’s not real I swear they are just stories why would you want to become a coi-”, he can’t be reasoned with. He will need additional persuasion.
We kidnapped him and brought him to the Home Tree.